I was overwhelmed with emotion during my divorce. My kids were too.
Waking up each day, I prayed for God to give me strength to walk through this heartbreak. I cried out for help when I felt alone and power to comfort my kids too. Our emotions were intense and unpredictable the year after the divorce.
It felt like our entire world had flipped upside down.
I think many of us can relate. Disappointments happen everyday and can leave us with intense emotions.
What can we do to help process our emotions in a healthy way? How can we help our kids too?
Friend, I would love to share with you some of the tools we learned from our counselors during that difficult year.
In fact, my kids and I share about these tools on a special podcast episode back in 2020 during the pandemic. It was so special to have my sons as my guests. The episode is called Family and Feelings, and I would love for you to listen.
Name that Feeling was one of our favorite tools we learned.
The counselor used paint cards from Lowes that have 3 color shades. We chose red to represent the emotion anger. The counselor helped the boys come up with a word for the light red when they are slightly angry (annoyed), for the middle red (mad), and then for the darkest red (enraged or charged).
Each word would get more intense as the colors get deeper shades.
By having the kids pick the word, you are giving them ways to describe how they are feeling. So instead of saying, I am angry. They could share a word that shows the level of anger. I feel deep red right now; I am charged or enraged. I believe this tool will help increase the emotional literacy of you and your kids.
As you can see in the picture, we chose yellow for happy and blue for sadness. I recommend letting your child pick the color for their emotions and then help them select words for each shade. Then, instead of asking, “Are you sad?” You can ask, “What shade of blue are you?”
Understanding the depth to what they are feeling as well as offering them comfort are some of the greatest gifts you can give your child.
Praying these tools help you and your family learn how to name your feelings.